i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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