we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
