it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
