Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
