ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
