New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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