So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
