Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
