Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
