I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
