No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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