I'm gonna have a badass scar
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He kissed a someone with a penis
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
