i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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