My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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