Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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