Do you still have your period?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
