Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
