Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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