your thong is hanging out like whoa
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
