google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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