so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My pussy is not your playground.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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