Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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