My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
