she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
