Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm having to shit out rocks
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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