you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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