We won't sleep together?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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