Jerry, you need to find god
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
