I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
