Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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