Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ladies don't puke and tell
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
