So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Alive.
So much puke
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
