You really coming over, don't trick.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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