i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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