I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
