wat bout pragnant strippers??
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
