it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Please don't give away my fajitas
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