we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize