i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
