So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
