I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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