walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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