it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
