she kept yelling 'call me bella'
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
