This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize