Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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