I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
