I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
