is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
