I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
