your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
