he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
