the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
