Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
