Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize