I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
