I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
