I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
