i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
